Who is that masked kid?

Carter's a miracle and a hero - especially when it comes to dealing with numerous medical appointments.

Pediatric specialist appointments are exhausting! Even six years later none of them seem to get any easier.Carter Masked 0720

When Carter was born at 26 weeks, 4 days our specialist appointments were frequent and I was able to get used to hearing bad news or disappointing news. Carter was younger so I could process the information, but he wasn’t tuning in.

Now I have to keep my guard up and absorb what they say without letting on to him how I may be feeling.

My first feeling still is guilt. Guilt that he was born early and we don’t know why; guilt he has to go through these lengthy appointments at these big hospitals; guilt that he has certain things that will follow him through adulthood; guilt that he has seen more specialists in his short life than myself at six times his age.

Our specialist list thankfully isn’t as lengthy as it used to be. For some, we now go longer between appointments. Others we’re attending more frequently, but overall, Carter is a fairly healthy kiddo and it is a blessing.

This week we ventured to Boston for an eye follow up. It was a 3 ½ hour appointment. By the time we were done we had an antsy but exhausted kiddo. It’s hard not to resent that he still needs these appointments and that he has to undergo the testing that he does. It’s hard not to question why he has issues other preemies seemingly don’t.

And we’re heading in for his tonsil and adenoid removal next week… so many appointments.

I’d love to hear any tips readers regarding the tonsillectomy. I plan on buying stock in ice cream, but other than that I’m clueless and nervous. I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again, Carter is so much braver than I will ever be — a miracle and my hero.

Lauren Martone is a blogger for ParentingNH from southern New Hampshire. You can contact her at lmart0825@gmail.com. Lauren and her family’s story were featured in the July 2015 issue of ParentingNH and in the July 2018 issue.

Categories: Carter’s Corner