Building a toolbox for life

It's hard not to fix everything for my kids, but I know my job is to give them the tools they need to fix their own problems

I can’t be the only one who feels like the weeks are flying by during this pandemic summer. How is it already the middle of July?

I find myself rushing these days to put a Band-aid on everything for my kids. I feel like I need to fix it all for them, to make things seem right. But in reality my job as their parent isn’t to fix things for them but rather to raise them and give them the tools they need to fix their own problems. It is so hard to do though.

Watching a struggle occur is really difficult, and spending the time to allow my kids to work through something is frustrating but these are my difficulties and my frustrations. I am always in a rush.

When I do step back to allow them to figure it out, the independence they gain and the pride they feel are some of the true treasures of parenthood. It is funny how something life-altering forces us to pause, reflect and grow.

As much as I want to give them all the answers right now, we just don’t have them. And although I can’t fix some of the problems they’re internally experiencing, I can help navigate and guide them.

It’s a parenting conundrum — not wanting them to hurt or feel pain, but also knowing that it has to be for them to grow. I am not sure I am equipped to handle the first broken heart here but I know I am equipped to give them the tools they need in their toolbox for life.

Lauren Martone is a blogger for ParentingNH from southern New Hampshire. You can contact her at lmart0825@gmail.com. Lauren and her family’s story were featured in the July 2015 issue of ParentingNH and in the July 2018 issue.

Categories: Carter’s Corner