It might be time for us to call it quits

We have been attached for nine or so years but now I’m questioning our relationship.



It’s not you, it’s me.

Most of our daily interactions were positive up until last year. But even when our conversations about politics became contentious, I did not doubt we’d make it through. We were spending pretty much every day together.

But lately I’m wondering if something is missing between the two of us. All this togetherness is starting to freak me out.

When we first met, it was great. You were interested in everything I had to say, even if it was just about what I was eating or the weather. Through you I was able to talk with so many people from work and high school, from all over the country. You were there in good times — engagements, marriages and births and vacations — and in bad times — breakups, deaths, and medical issues. I knew I could turn to you 24/7, and you’d be there for me.

Things changed though. I used to spend time with you at my leisure, but I am now compelled to or I feel like I’m missing out. You keep prompting me for my status and want me to check in wherever I am. All day you try to get my attention with notifications and you want me to like everything (or to be wowed or sad or angry) but that’s a lot to ask when I am trying to work and get things done.

And what’s with wanting me to be friends with certain people, like my exes. Why is that? Why do you want to share me with everyone? I know you are just making friend suggestions, but like your daily reminders of how much you remember about my life, it sometimes makes me sad. Nothing like being reminded about stupid things I did a few years ago or the people I love who are no longer around. Maybe I shouldn’t have told you anything since you keep throwing it in my face.

I know you are thinking that I’m re-evaluating us because you went around and told companies my private information. But really, it isn’t. I never expected you to keep all my secrets.

I will admit that recently I’ve limited my contact with you for days at a time to try to remember what my life was like before we met. It’s been good, though people often ask if something is wrong because they haven’t seen us together in a while.

At the moment I am keeping my options open to see how things go with us. I don’t want you completely out of my life because there are still things I like about you. But I need my space and to not feel I have to be with you all the time. For us being so connected, I feel so disconnected.

There are so many things I want to do on my own, like talk to people in the real world so I can engage in substantive conversations and strengthen those real-life connections. Even if we can’t see each other and we text, it’ll be a step up.

You know what, Facebook? Maybe it is you.

More Letters from Editor Melanie Hitchcock

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